• McKenzie Friend Australia

Are Insults from an Ex Domestic Violence?

Updated: Dec 28, 2019

Which court recognises domestic violence in all it's forms?

Co-parenting for some people places one party in the firing line for being made to feel bullied in some form by an ex-partner, regularly, instantly and over various mediums with the explosion of technological devices. Parents can be open to being psychologically and emotionally verbally abused around the clock.

What can be done if one parent believes the co-parent is constantly behaving badly towards them? Some friends or family around you might just think you are being too fragile and should cop ‘name-calling’ on the chin for the sake of the kids. I ask when is enough truly enough, to tip into the realms of being a victim of domestic violence?

Each family unit has its own ‘unique factors’ so what happens to one individual, may not be viewed as being a victim of DV by another depending on the context of the dialogue. It’s all about perspective, evidence and what is legally viewed as offensive communication. The parent on the wrong end of the stick may be personally offended by remarks and innuendos, but parental disputes are generally not DV no matter how you took the conversation.

I think the general public do not fully appreciate what verbal domestic violence encompasses in the co-parenting environment. Furthermore, today’s society especially in the Family Court system seems to turn a blinds’ eye to verbal violence cues, not understanding the mental and physical health impacts a person being repeatedly verbally tortured endures and the impact on the family unit and the best interest of the child. This type of stress can have long term irreversible damage to a human being.

I am interested to know if you would consider any the following types of communications, domestic violence or just ‘stone throwing if you were on the receiving end of them? (WARNING - I have ‘beeped’ out words due to public swearing laws)

Text “you moron

Text “Ha ha…pi<s off fatso…”

Text “You wouldn’t know a fact if it bit your smelly vagina

Telephone “F#&*% off, you’re a f#&%ing liar”.

Text “You are truly insane”

Text “You are a pathetic creature and you’ll reap what you have sown in due course.”

Email “It pales into insignificance compared to what they've told me you’ve been doing you bloody hypocrite.”

Email “You’re either deluded or straight out lying.”

Text “Get help.”

Text “You need help

Text “Pity you can’t put the same energy into being a decent mother

Text “You are an idiot

Text - “like I said, you’re an idiot.”

Text “Stop being so stupid

Text “good one mother / father of the year

Email “We both know the truth the only bullying control freak is you.”

Email “You’re a bald faced liar

Email “Satan”

Telephone “You f#&%ing bitch, you are poisoning (child), you’re f#&%ing (child) up.”

Text “Try to refrain from being a complete moron your entire life.

Text “You are an idiot. Seriously get a life.

Email “Lucky for me you're not too bright and your lies are very obvious. It's time to get over your lying bullsh&t, and your paranoid madness, get help and start being a proper mother.”

Text “I just want you to know that I WILL NEVER EVER walk away you better get used to me as I will always be there.”

Email “(person) is a liar and in light of her despicable conduct the thought of looking at her ever again makes me sick to my stomach. In the circumstances, I do not want someone so morally deficient as your client anywhere near (child). Regardless of your client’s financial success, (name) is, and remains, housing commission Woodridge trash.”

Direct “You will f#&%ing suffer the consequences of all this!

Direct “F#&%ing bitch”

Direct “You’re a f#&%ing bitch!” and You’re just a c#nt!” and “I think you’re a sl@t”

Direct “If you ever try leaving me, I’m taking (child). I’ll fight you in Court so (child) lives with me.”

Direct “You’re a sl@t!” and “You have no idea how much I can hurt you little girl!"

Direct - “I'm going to get you!”

How do you feel now? Please tell me. I would like to read your thoughts / comments as to whether or not you think this is domestic violence and how it made you feel.

Do you think the Australian Family Law Court cares about this type of parenting communications? – The answer – No, I am aware similar types of communication threads have ben presented and ignored for a long time in parenting cases.

Does a local Magistrates Court care about these types of communications? – Yes, they very well could under the Domestic Violence Act.

So why doesn’t the Family Court presiding over parenting cases have the same view as the State Magistrates Court? Surely the laws on domestic violence should be the same across the entire country and in any Court no matter whether state or federal. Unfortunately for some, Final Parenting Orders force parents into being long term victims of DV just for being a parent and have it called "conflict' instead of DV.

I am miffed!

If you think you are a victim of similar DV and need assistance in applying for a private protection order application, McKenzie Friend can help you today.

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