If You’re In An Abusive Relationship, Get Out Now!
October is the National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and it is always confronting to me to be involved in / with protection order applications in the local Magistrates Courts as you really see negative intimacy at it's worst.
I recently helped a lady obtain a Temporary Protection Order because her ex-partner was repeatedly threatening and on one occasion, did attempt suicide to emotionally blackmail her into returning to the violent toxic relationship with 2 young children under 3 years old. I also witness a lot, DV applications that are clearly 'tit for tat' matters unnecessarily clogging up the courts time and the tax payers money as a tactic waging war over child custody for the Family Court. It really hits home what humans, who were in intimate relationships are capable of doing to hurt, control and manipulate a former loved one.
Although I am McKenzie Friend operating in the realms of divorce and parenting, I often think I am a bit like a therapist assisting victims of DV shed the layers of emotional fear and drama to make solid decisions to move on with boundaries. In helping people deal with their issues around separation and divorce, I often find myself counselling clients to help them to feel better about their decisions, because separating is not easy under the best of circumstances.
If you think you are being abused in your marriage, your recourse is:
1) To get counselling to fix the problem; or 2) Get out before the situation escalates.
Here are some tips to determine whether or not you should consider if you are a victim of domestic violence:
1. If your spouse isolates you from friends and family.
2. If your spouse is verbally demeaning, puts you down in front of people (even your children), ridicules you, constantly criticises at every turn, you can never do anything right, bullies you, or purposely embarrasses you.
3. If your spouse blames everyone (mostly you) for all of his/her bad fortune. It’s never his/her fault.
4. If your spouse is jealous of you, what you do, who you are with, your time away from him/her.
5. If you have a parent/child or master/servant relationship and you are the child or servant, you are being abused.
6. If your spouse threatens you with leaving, hurting you or your children, cutting you off financially, or uses fear to control you, time to flee.
7. If your spouse is an addict of any kind, i.e. illegal or prescription drugs, alcoholic, sex, shopping, gambling, internet surfing, or any other addiction, it is at YOUR expense emotionally.
8. Of course physical violence is the holy grail of abusers. Get out while you still can before anyone gets hurt.
Visit your local Police station and if they can't help you then go to your local Magistrates Court and speak to Domestic Violence support staff. Or McKenzie Friend can help you fill out a Private Protection Order Application at no charge today. Visit www.mckenziefriend.org.au or call 0466 889 199.